Our Journey Raising Two Children with Special Needs

This blog chronicles our life raising two children, Nicholas 15, diagnosed with Prader-Willi Syndrome and Weston 18, diagnosed with Autism/Asperger's/ADHD. It's the ups, the downs, the joys, the sorrows and most importantly, the beauty of living a life less perfect, a life more meaningful.

Monday, February 21, 2011

My Secret Garden

I have a place in my mind that I go to......

Where there is no noise.

It is quiet.

No voices from doctors requesting more tests.

No voices from the indifferent with words that hurt.

It is a place that is sunny and warm, a place where my children can run and play happily together.

In my mind they are laughing, free from the crippling effects of their disease.

Nicholas is healthy and strong. He is muscular and slim, no longer plagued by constant hunger. He is running and jumping while he throws a baseball up into the air and catches it with ease.

Weston is calm and relaxed. He is lying in the fragrant grass on the banks of a lazy stream where he is resting and reading a book.

My garden is filled with healthy green bushes whose buds burst with blossoms of colorful flowers, red, orange and yellow.

The air is filled with their perfume.

There is a narrow dirt pathway that winds through my garden. It is a path only I can follow. Along the path are benches. There is one placed under the shade of a sturdy oak tree that sways gently by the breath of warm summer breezes.

There is another bench perched on the shore of  a sparkling blue ocean. The waves crash onto the shore in rhythmic pattern, slowing the pace of my racing heart.

In my secret garden my mind is released from the day-to-day routine of tracking doctor appointments and managing medications. There is no need for worry. The health of my children is assured. My family is safe.

My secret pathway leads to a small stone cottage with a garden by its side. In the garden, my father, now back to life, lifts a brilliant red tomato the size of a softball. He smiles and waves to me.

Inside the stone cottage, my mother awaits, her vibrant spirit revived, her mind brilliant and clear, freed from the ravaging effects of dementia. We sit at the wooden kitchen table to sip coffee while we hold hands, talking and laughing together.

This is my secret garden, my sanctuary.

It is the place in my mind that I go to when I am fatigued by the incessant stress that accompanies the role of raising children with special needs.

It is a place where my body is no longer tense.

My shoulders are relaxed.

My mind is free from worry.

There are no obligations or appointments.

No thoughtless words from others.

There is only love and peace

and serenity.

I am reborn, my soul is restored, my heart mended, my mind clear.

It is a place where I find my lost inner strength, my precious healing magic energy that helps me to endure.

It is a place in my mind that I go to.........to find myself.


The Henrys said...

This is just so beautiful...
I really needed to read this today and maybe I will try to picture my own special garden.
Thank you so much for writing this.

Elizabeth said...

May this always be a place for you to retreat to -- in fact, may this beautiful place be yours, truly.

Take care --

Lisa said...

Thank you both.

I read about positive visual imagery from a book called "Invisible Heroes" by Belleruth Naparstek. I wasn't sure I was a believer but since trying it...I believe it does help.

Laurie said...

That is a beautiful visual image... I'm wondering if I can have tea there some day with you! :) The paintings on your blog to the right are gorgeous... who are they by?


Lisa said...

Yes, please come and join me for a cup of tea! I would really love that!

The first "tree painting" is called Tababuia Tree by Cecil Herring.

The second tree is actually a photograph. It is: Cottonwood Tree by Alex Kirkbride, at www.wetpixel.com.

The city painting below was done by Leonid Afremov.
Thanks again for visiting my secret garden.

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