Our Journey Raising Two Children with Special Needs

This blog chronicles our life raising two children, Nicholas 15, diagnosed with Prader-Willi Syndrome and Weston 18, diagnosed with Autism/Asperger's/ADHD. It's the ups, the downs, the joys, the sorrows and most importantly, the beauty of living a life less perfect, a life more meaningful.




Friday, March 9, 2012

If You Judge People, You Have No Time to Love Them

It was Mother Teresa who said,

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Lately, I have felt that many of the folks closest to me have been my harshest critics.

Why is it so difficult for others to understand the unending sacrifice and overwhelming stress that plagues a parent who is struggling to care for a child diagnosed with a life threatening disease?

Is asking for some patience, tolerance and understanding...in light of our unending hardships an unreasonable request? Mercy, love, forbearance...forgotten?

I think there are many parents of children diagnosed with special needs who feel similarly. And I wonder why? Why does this happen? What happens to us that closes us off to some folks and brings us closer to others, usually those who share our hardships?

It has made me think alot about judgement.

Why do we judge others?

What purpose does this serve?

Is it the end result of intolerance, ignorance, resentment, jealousy?

Here is what some folks have to say about the subject:

“Before criticizing a man, walk a mile in his shoes.”

“Criticism of others is thus an oblique form of self-commendation. We think we make the picture hang straight on our wall by telling our neighbors that all his pictures are crooked.”

“These people who can see right through you never quite do you justice, because they never give you credit for the effort you're making to be better than you actually are, which is difficult and well meant and deserving of some little notice.”

“When one experiences truth, the madness of finding fault with others disappears.”

“Because it strikes me there is something greater than judgement. I think it is called mercy.”

“We are all hypocrites. We cannot see ourselves or judge ourselves the way we see and judge others.”

“There will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments and judge your soul. It is a fact that we all must face. However, if you realize that God is a best friend that stands beside you when others cast stones you will never be afraid, never feel worthless and never feel alone.”


2 comments:

The Henrys said...

I'm sorry you are having to deal with hurtful judgements made by others. You are a wonderful mother and you work so hard for your kids. Your love for them pours through your writing and it's plain to see how much they love you too!

You are also a wonderful friend, and blogger. Your posts are always filled with so much helpful information. You always know how to say things that lots of parents can relate to, and do it very eloquently.

You are just amazing! Please try to let whatever other people think just roll off your back. They simply just don't know what they are talking about!!

Elizabeth said...

I really like this post. I was talking to someone (a therapist) the other day about my resentment -- how I hated it and didn't want to grow any more bitter and resentful, how much I am aware of it but sometimes helpless not to feel it. I was reminded of others, like yourself, that walk in my shoes and it does help. It helps more than anything else, I think.

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