So, for the first time in a long time, I visited with my primary care physician. We talked for over an hour. She sat very quietly listening to me describe the unusually high level of stress that accompanies a lifestyle devoted to caring for children diagnosed with special needs. We talked about the emotional and physical toll it takes on a body and it wasn't long before she was completely speechless.
But my story seemed to motivate her into action and we devised a plan for my continuing care.
Unfortunately, it included several more of these:
I honestly believe I could wallpaper my entire home with the number of appointment cards I have collected over the past 10 years.
In an interesting twist of fate, I am the one who now has a long list of specialists to see.
My new job of caring for myself seems very strange to me. I keep looking in the backseat of my car to see if I have forgotten someone.
This new focus on myself, while strange and uncomfortable has also given me a renewed sense of freedom. I am beginning to find my old self once again.
I have been performing this medical dance with my children for so long that I feel almost liberated, like I am at long last......dancing with myself.