Nick's recovery from spinal fusion surgery
has been a very slow, slow process.
His number of follow-up appointments
on the other hand, has blown WAY out-of-control.
We are running around like madmen,
We have had to play catch-up
with all of his typical providers:
endocrine, neurology, psychiatry etc.
now add to that
a back brace specialist, primary care provider and pulmonologist.
Is it any wonder I am beginning to suffer from amnesia?
I am forgetting everything.
My cell phone?
My coffee cup?
My brain is engulfed in a post surgical fog.
With all this running around here and there,
always driving, fixing, repairing, serving,
it is no wonder I can think at all.
And so I do what I do best.
This morning, Nick and I drive to see yet another specialist.
"Aw Nick," I say, "I forgot my cell phone."
" I would lose my head if it wasn't attached," I groan.
he says sternly, turning to look at me.
"I would find it for you."
I am struck silent by his words.
Like an arrow sprung bluntly into my chest,
with this single sentence
my loving son reminds me
that all of this driving and fixing and healing and helping
has made me forget
what is truly most important in life.
I have forgotten how to love.
Nick has a way of humbling
even the most tireless of special needs parents.